5 Steps to Developing Self-Confidence

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.”1

(Elisabeth Kubler-Ross)

6d638061dc8210bc5daf90fea4cf78edThe biggest one thing I believe prevents people from pursuing what they want most out of life is the lack of confidence. Fear signifies the absence of it along with comfort and security. For some of us, self-confidence may be something we struggled with growing up and simultaneously, something we never really learned to overcome. Unfortunately, it’s an absolute necessity to chase your dreams, to escape the standard cookie-cutter life, and to truly be yourself. And because of this, it’s something we must work on every single day. As humans, we’ll always have fears and doubts, but with a bit of confidence, we’re guaranteed to defeat the uncertainty. So if you’re struggling with it or can use a little boost, here are 5 steps to help you get there:

#1 Groom yourself

We naturally feel better about ourselves when we know we look the part. If you know the impact a positive image has, you should strive to look your best every single day (and if you don’t know, well…maybe you should try). Take a shower, blow out your hair, put your makeup on, and clad in your best garments. A bright lipstick or pair of killer heels can make a world of difference. Don’t believe me? Give it a shot.

#2 Accept what you can’t change.

There will always be someone better than you in different facets of life in the same sense that you are outpacing someone else at something. This is fact. You won’t ever be 100% satisfied with yourself but you can accept yourself for what you are. My brother used to always tell me if you don’t like something, change it and if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Once you learn to accept something at face value, you’ll become happier with yourself and when you’re happier, you are more confident.

#3 Keep a journal.

“Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment.” (Thomas Carlyle)

You fail some, you win some, and you should capitalize on your wins to build your confidence. Keep a journal and document them. When you achieve a substance of success in one part of your life, you generally feel better in all other aspects so write about all of it – your goals and how you feel when you achieve them or when you do something that makes you feel awesome. The purpose of documenting your successes is so you can use them to reflect on your self-worth when you’re feeling so worthless. It’s a mere reminder for you to realize the kind of wonderful human you are.

#4 Do things that make you happy.

Yes, do the things that make you happy, but also make sure that the outcome of what you’re doing will also make you proud. We all make stupid decisions and they exist so we can learn from them (*not repeat them*). You’ll certainly be more sure of yourself if you have a strong track record of doing things you’re content with and not constantly regretting.

#5 Refine your support network.

You put out what you take in so consume carefully. Surround yourself with people with positive vibes, the ones who believe in you and support you. I find that it’s easier to believe in myself when my support network also sees the potential in me – they always want to bring me up when I’m at my worst. Get rid of that negativity around you.

All in all –

“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.”2

(Golda Meir)


– Susan

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Image Source Credits – Julia Trotti, Fashion Gone Rogue

Written by Susan Hang for Zanita.comScreen Shot 2015-10-10 at 19.07.27

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