Ava was always alive…..

“Ava was always alive. Even in the depths of depression or anguish, she was terribly alive. And she could get heartbreakingly depressed. There were times when she couldn’t see people, times when she was so miserable, when life was so black for her. It couldn’t have been easy for anybody to have been witness to the depths of her unhappiness or self-loathing. She didn’t like herself.And so everyone felt wildly protective about Ava, and therein, of course, lies madness. The vulnerability was part of her great appeal. Everybody felt that yes, they could bring her some solace or help for whatever this bottomless well of unhappiness in her was. Well, of course, you can’t. But Ava didn’t take advantage of that; she wasn’t looking for you to be a nurse. Some people eat you up with that, but Ava wasn’t inclined that way. She was a loner. Like a bear, she would go off somewhere and hibernate.”- Roddy McDowall


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